(first written 1-12-2006)
I do believe this next topic can be considered an issue. Not a bad one, but something that spends way too much time on TV. And that alone grabs my attention very quickly. You’ve seen it just about everywhere. There is no escaping its endless boredom. It has you! No it’s not the matrix, but close, its poker.
I have nothing to hide. I like poker. I have been swept up by the poker craze. I play it, I watch it; how pathetic is that. Almost as unimpressive as watching bowling. Yeah they may be good, but I can go do that any time. You know I take that back. Bowling has a certain element to it. At least you can’t play it anywhere. Baseball and football can be played at anytime, so long as you have the right equipment. And tennis, volleyball, racket-ball, and all other variants on that sport can be played with a little imagination.
Back to poker: when watching it, I feel that the commentators are poorly qualified to talk about it. I have some ideas about how to make it more interesting to everyone. To start, they commentators should be talking about things similar to the conversation on fishing shows. That way people actually concentrate on what is actually happening and not on how old the commentator’s jacket is or how many ex-wives they have. Those things, especially the latter should not be commented on, particularly because they have nothing to do with the action going on.
That leads me to my next point. The word action must be taken out of the poker dictionary. Under no means can I classify what they do as action. Because usually action is synonymous with excitement and in no way, shape, or form is it exciting. It’s interesting... I will say that. The word action can generally be substituted with the word play. That is a much more friendly term and is not just an outright lie.
Another problem from that nice seg-way: gambling promotes lying. And stealing: they often say “that pot was stolen”. Stealing, lying, gambling, and all the alcohol can’t be a good influence on all the eight to ninety year olds watching the program.
Quick break; I guarantee you that you will never hear the commentators notice that a persons ‘play’ was bad because they had too much alcohol. It is barely seen on TV anymore but it is there. It has to be, or else they would let me, an underage drinker, in their casinos. But they don’t. Why? Because there is alcohol I could potentially drink and get them in trouble.
Back on subject: so yeah, I think they should do a better job, making everyone more aware of all the sin involved in gambling. To do this would be easy. Just explain the ruin that is the people’s lives who lost and how they should have spent that ten grand on something more valuable. Like a new washer and dryer, some jewelry; maybe an engagement ring. Certainly not wasted playing a game that is a one in ten chance to make a profit, assuming you are any good at all. (Quick note: over the last two years, over 5 people have lost the main event tournament in the first thirty minutes. They spent money on plane tickets, hotel rooms, and food only to spend thirty minutes wasting 10,000 dollars. {Better luck next year}).
My point is simple: don’t gamble… all the time. Do it socially, never exclusively for the money. The money can be important but your life should not rest on the money you are winning or losing…ever! And if you have a problem, seek help.
Well that’s it for now. Later-z. (I added the z to make it look cool. Did it work?)
-Sam D
P.S. last side note: only one other person on this list (aside from me) actually plays poker with any regularity. But I’m sure the rest of you enjoyed my ranting just the same.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Important issue 5 (cell phone tyrade)
(first written 11-29-2005)
You know what? I’m going to stand by what I said earlier. TURN OF YOUR FUCKINGCELL PHONES! It’s gone on to long. I’m sick and tired and pissed off on cell phone usage. So pissed off in fact, that I’ve dedicated this e-mail to the topic of cell phones. So I’m going to throw out a few rules and guidelines for cell phone usage:
First and foremost: turn them off. If your lives are so tethered to a cell phone, you need to seek help. I’m, not saying you can’t have it in on during the day, but turn it off now and then.
Like maybe when you’re in a movie. Listen: the people in the movie business waste time, humor, and creativity thinking up cleaver ways to make you understand that your phone is not needed in the movie. Please stop wasting they’re time and my sanity. Both are precious.
Next rule: having a classical song as your ring-tone does not make it any less annoying. Just because you have Beethoven blasting anytime you are needed does not make you come off as an intellect. It just makes it all the more obnoxious and pretentious. Similarly, it annoys me that people don’t answer the phone because they like their ring-tone so much that they want to hear the entire song. They let the call go and then call the person back. That bugs me. I can just imagine all the trouble that can get them in: the hospital calls telling you that your mother is in the hospital and you’re too busy listening to the new lil’ {insert rap name here (fancy)}’s single. Too bad the song is more important than the actual conversation you might have had.
But that leads to the next point of discussion: the content. Cell phone conversations should be short and concise. They should be to find out important information. The whole point (for me) is to talk to the person. So I see where they are and only if I can not see them personally will I ask my question over the phone.
The last point is something I am still on the fence about. When it comes to speaker phone on cell phones I’m not sure which way I want to go. On the one hand: I don’t want to hear the conversation at all, but since I have to hear it anyway, I’d rather here the entire conversation rather than just half of it. I think the rule is that you must use speaker phone if the person calls and interrupts a conversation you were having with someone in person. That way everyone is involved in the conversation.
My conclusion: cell phones are annoying and I personally believe they are….
*BUZZ*
Hang on….hello?......yeah I know……..right……did you check your pocket?......of course not…….idiot…….nothing……okay bye.
Sorry. No where was I?
Sam D.
You know what? I’m going to stand by what I said earlier. TURN OF YOUR FUCKINGCELL PHONES! It’s gone on to long. I’m sick and tired and pissed off on cell phone usage. So pissed off in fact, that I’ve dedicated this e-mail to the topic of cell phones. So I’m going to throw out a few rules and guidelines for cell phone usage:
First and foremost: turn them off. If your lives are so tethered to a cell phone, you need to seek help. I’m, not saying you can’t have it in on during the day, but turn it off now and then.
Like maybe when you’re in a movie. Listen: the people in the movie business waste time, humor, and creativity thinking up cleaver ways to make you understand that your phone is not needed in the movie. Please stop wasting they’re time and my sanity. Both are precious.
Next rule: having a classical song as your ring-tone does not make it any less annoying. Just because you have Beethoven blasting anytime you are needed does not make you come off as an intellect. It just makes it all the more obnoxious and pretentious. Similarly, it annoys me that people don’t answer the phone because they like their ring-tone so much that they want to hear the entire song. They let the call go and then call the person back. That bugs me. I can just imagine all the trouble that can get them in: the hospital calls telling you that your mother is in the hospital and you’re too busy listening to the new lil’ {insert rap name here (fancy)}’s single. Too bad the song is more important than the actual conversation you might have had.
But that leads to the next point of discussion: the content. Cell phone conversations should be short and concise. They should be to find out important information. The whole point (for me) is to talk to the person. So I see where they are and only if I can not see them personally will I ask my question over the phone.
The last point is something I am still on the fence about. When it comes to speaker phone on cell phones I’m not sure which way I want to go. On the one hand: I don’t want to hear the conversation at all, but since I have to hear it anyway, I’d rather here the entire conversation rather than just half of it. I think the rule is that you must use speaker phone if the person calls and interrupts a conversation you were having with someone in person. That way everyone is involved in the conversation.
My conclusion: cell phones are annoying and I personally believe they are….
*BUZZ*
Hang on….hello?......yeah I know……..right……did you check your pocket?......of course not…….idiot…….nothing……okay bye.
Sorry. No where was I?
Sam D.
Important Issue 4
(first written 11-13-2005)
There is a problem in this world that is left in the corner of society. The problem is the idea of origin. If you’re from the United States, you’re an American. How egotistical is that? People from Canada are also American, but they aren’t associated with it. Another thing wrong with Canada is the pronunciation of Canadians. Mexico has Mexicans; Italy has Italians: Germany as Germans. See a pattern here? The way the country is spelled, so are the people that are from there. But no… Canada has to be difficult. They have to use different enunciation on their syllables to be Canadians. Assholes. People from Spain are another group like Canada. They call themselves Spaniards. Lame.
Another thing interesting is the ‘ese’ ending people. Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and New Zealandese (Hey! What are you supposed to call it? New Zealanders? That just sounds weird). Now the one thing in common between the names of Japan, China, and Vietnam (fuck New Zealand for now. The only thing they were good for was the ‘Lord of the Rings’. And now that’s over with) is that they all have an ‘n’ and an ‘a’ sound at the end. No other countries have that in their ending. It may be an ‘n’ but with no ‘a’ near it or vise-versa. Example: Canada. See the ‘a’ at the end? But no ‘n’ near it… think about that and then just assume I’m right. There are of course exceptions such as Iran and Iranians but if they were Iranese, they would never be suspected of having nuclear weapons. Only for stealing jobs and selling us cheap and efficient porn-os.
Before we get to the last point I’d like to say that Austrian and Australian are two simple letters away from each other and if I mess up the fact I should be forgiven.
Another interesting fact is that since the ‘an’ rule applies for most places, some can prove hilarious. For instance: if someone is from Crete (an island in Greece), they are a Cretan. Ummm… there aren’t really any others… I just wanted to tell people they were Cretans without getting in trouble.
MISSION ACOMPLISHED!!!
-Sam D.
There is a problem in this world that is left in the corner of society. The problem is the idea of origin. If you’re from the United States, you’re an American. How egotistical is that? People from Canada are also American, but they aren’t associated with it. Another thing wrong with Canada is the pronunciation of Canadians. Mexico has Mexicans; Italy has Italians: Germany as Germans. See a pattern here? The way the country is spelled, so are the people that are from there. But no… Canada has to be difficult. They have to use different enunciation on their syllables to be Canadians. Assholes. People from Spain are another group like Canada. They call themselves Spaniards. Lame.
Another thing interesting is the ‘ese’ ending people. Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and New Zealandese (Hey! What are you supposed to call it? New Zealanders? That just sounds weird). Now the one thing in common between the names of Japan, China, and Vietnam (fuck New Zealand for now. The only thing they were good for was the ‘Lord of the Rings’. And now that’s over with) is that they all have an ‘n’ and an ‘a’ sound at the end. No other countries have that in their ending. It may be an ‘n’ but with no ‘a’ near it or vise-versa. Example: Canada. See the ‘a’ at the end? But no ‘n’ near it… think about that and then just assume I’m right. There are of course exceptions such as Iran and Iranians but if they were Iranese, they would never be suspected of having nuclear weapons. Only for stealing jobs and selling us cheap and efficient porn-os.
Before we get to the last point I’d like to say that Austrian and Australian are two simple letters away from each other and if I mess up the fact I should be forgiven.
Another interesting fact is that since the ‘an’ rule applies for most places, some can prove hilarious. For instance: if someone is from Crete (an island in Greece), they are a Cretan. Ummm… there aren’t really any others… I just wanted to tell people they were Cretans without getting in trouble.
MISSION ACOMPLISHED!!!
-Sam D.
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