(first written 12-18-2006)
Remember 'Compare you Hair'? Remember 'That's Good Eats'? Well I'm going to combine them. I'm going to discuss the low and high ends of hair cuts. Salon vs. the Barber. Not a Barber shop; where Barbers work. The Barber. As was in the other comparing piece, I am excluding chain haircutters such as Supercuts. (My reasoning is that, with all chains, there is procedure to follow rather than the freedom of what the customer wants.)
I was just thinking about the quality of the two. At a salon, you are guaranteed to get a very good haircut. Unfortunately the cost of the haircuts can exceed 30 dollars. The better you want it, the more it will cost. But if you go to a barber, there is still a high quality as long as you don’t want anything too fancy and it will cost a maximum of 15 dollars.
The conversation level is quite low when getting a haircut because of problems that arise from moving the jaw, but the talking done in each place is fairly similar. They are kind to people that look friendly and condescending and stressed to people who look like they will cause trouble. Generally barbers own their shop and don’t want people messing it up, while people working for a salon are too snooty and judgmental.
The experience of the two are only slightly different. Here’s the thing: a barber will only cut your hair. They won’t mousse it, wash it, gel it, streak it, curl it, dye it, or anything of the sort. They have four tools: a comb, water, scissors, and a razor. And I guess you can add towels but those aren’t a necessity. Salons will do all of the things I mentioned above. And this is probably why it costs so much more.
In conclusion: your character is not in question when you decide to save $15 by going to a barber when all you want is a trim. Hell if you could do it yourself, you wouldn’t even pay the barber. You would only have to deal with the legal difficulties in acquiring a pair of scissors.
The end
-The Big Sleazy “keeping you from your child since 1999!”
Special features include video footage of Sam celebrating the end of this e-mail. He had the idea for this e-mail more than fifteen months ago. Watch as he gets wasted drinking a handle of Canada Dry; one shot at a time.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Stealing isn't Cool
(first written 11-18-2006)
In my bill at school there is actually an item I have to pay for about stealing from the café. This is a problem: I don’t steal from the café. I really don’t want to pay for something I don’t do. So that brings up two options. One I could argue and maybe get no where, or I could steal from the café. However this just completes the cycle and makes that item on the bill even more expensive next year, allowing me to steal even more from the café. I don’t think the café can win on this one. They should just cut their losses and move on.
I believe people aren’t taking advantage of coupons. You should be allowed to use coupons on other people’s purchases. You follow the person around and grab all the things they do that have a buy one get one half off (or free). Than after they pay, you simply pay the discount on your items. Easy as raspberries.
I have an open debate going on with people about stealing from a poor person. The question is: if you are robbed and have no money to give your assailant will that make them a) leave quicker (passive) or b) become more aggressive (violent)?
Give a person a penny candy, and they have a treat. Give someone a penny, and they exclaim “What the hell am I going to do with a penny!?
(Note: I left out delicious from treat because I think we are all in agreement that the penny candies aren’t that tasty. But at least they get the job done.)
(Note2: penny candies do still exist so I want no flack for that fact.)
If you really want to make sure you don’t get robbed on the streets, pretend (or be) really sick. I have a hard time believing that anyone wants to mug a sick person. There’s just too much contact and no one likes getting sick, especially if it can be avoided.
It’s wonderful that I have so much to say about stealing. This is my second e-mail on the topic (the first being steal this e-mail). That says something about our society. Feel free to tell me what that something is.
-The Big Sleazy©: keeping you from your kids since 1999!
In my bill at school there is actually an item I have to pay for about stealing from the café. This is a problem: I don’t steal from the café. I really don’t want to pay for something I don’t do. So that brings up two options. One I could argue and maybe get no where, or I could steal from the café. However this just completes the cycle and makes that item on the bill even more expensive next year, allowing me to steal even more from the café. I don’t think the café can win on this one. They should just cut their losses and move on.
I believe people aren’t taking advantage of coupons. You should be allowed to use coupons on other people’s purchases. You follow the person around and grab all the things they do that have a buy one get one half off (or free). Than after they pay, you simply pay the discount on your items. Easy as raspberries.
I have an open debate going on with people about stealing from a poor person. The question is: if you are robbed and have no money to give your assailant will that make them a) leave quicker (passive) or b) become more aggressive (violent)?
Give a person a penny candy, and they have a treat. Give someone a penny, and they exclaim “What the hell am I going to do with a penny!?
(Note: I left out delicious from treat because I think we are all in agreement that the penny candies aren’t that tasty. But at least they get the job done.)
(Note2: penny candies do still exist so I want no flack for that fact.)
If you really want to make sure you don’t get robbed on the streets, pretend (or be) really sick. I have a hard time believing that anyone wants to mug a sick person. There’s just too much contact and no one likes getting sick, especially if it can be avoided.
It’s wonderful that I have so much to say about stealing. This is my second e-mail on the topic (the first being steal this e-mail). That says something about our society. Feel free to tell me what that something is.
-The Big Sleazy©: keeping you from your kids since 1999!
One Two Step
(first written 5-8-2006)
The wedding I attended to over the weekend gave me a good excuse to write about something that has been eating at my insides. These truths are evident and though it took me so long to express them, it needed to take time so it could clearly be told.
This is a truth: dancing is lame.
There is another truth: no one person is not lame while dancing; black, white, Brazilian, etc, if you dance alone you are lame. The only time dancing that is not lame is when it is choreographed with many people doing it at the same time.
This seems counter-intuitive, especially when you see hundreds of people doing something like the Macarena all at once. There is another word for this: stupid. So no we have established that choreographed dancing is stupid and everything else is lame.
To have something be interesting and neither stupid nor lame, a dance needs to be creative, require more than one person to do it, and have lively music to it. The salsa and the tango are good examples of a non-stupid, non-lame dance. The adjective for dances like these is “SISSY”.
But let us not dwell on the SISSY’s. They are a minority at best. What we should focus on is accepting that, when dancing, we are lame. I have seen the proof and if you would like to see it as well, do not participate in the act and just watch. You will begin to notice the tendencies and movements that make everyone you watch completely lame. Neither the clothes nor the ‘phat’-ness of your dance moves can protect you from the lameness that you are creating by dancing.
I believe this is the best time to express my views on being lame, something I have had a lot of experience with. By no means am I saying stop dancing. I am merely stating what has always been there. When you dance, you are lame. I am no exception. When I dance I am proud to be lame and I show the world why I am indeed lame. So, do not let this e-mail deter you. Dance. Have fun. Have a good time. Wave you’re hands in the air like you just don’t care. Enjoy. Be lame.
-Sam D.
Note: this e-mail’s structure is loosely based on article that none of you have read. And I wasn’t paying much attention to it either. (Just thought I’d let you know).
The wedding I attended to over the weekend gave me a good excuse to write about something that has been eating at my insides. These truths are evident and though it took me so long to express them, it needed to take time so it could clearly be told.
This is a truth: dancing is lame.
There is another truth: no one person is not lame while dancing; black, white, Brazilian, etc, if you dance alone you are lame. The only time dancing that is not lame is when it is choreographed with many people doing it at the same time.
This seems counter-intuitive, especially when you see hundreds of people doing something like the Macarena all at once. There is another word for this: stupid. So no we have established that choreographed dancing is stupid and everything else is lame.
To have something be interesting and neither stupid nor lame, a dance needs to be creative, require more than one person to do it, and have lively music to it. The salsa and the tango are good examples of a non-stupid, non-lame dance. The adjective for dances like these is “SISSY”.
But let us not dwell on the SISSY’s. They are a minority at best. What we should focus on is accepting that, when dancing, we are lame. I have seen the proof and if you would like to see it as well, do not participate in the act and just watch. You will begin to notice the tendencies and movements that make everyone you watch completely lame. Neither the clothes nor the ‘phat’-ness of your dance moves can protect you from the lameness that you are creating by dancing.
I believe this is the best time to express my views on being lame, something I have had a lot of experience with. By no means am I saying stop dancing. I am merely stating what has always been there. When you dance, you are lame. I am no exception. When I dance I am proud to be lame and I show the world why I am indeed lame. So, do not let this e-mail deter you. Dance. Have fun. Have a good time. Wave you’re hands in the air like you just don’t care. Enjoy. Be lame.
-Sam D.
Note: this e-mail’s structure is loosely based on article that none of you have read. And I wasn’t paying much attention to it either. (Just thought I’d let you know).
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