The last day on earth
It was the last day on earth.
It was a nice spring day, in North America, anyway. I suppose it was fall in
the Southern Hemisphere. They are often forgotten from the Northern
hemisphere’s perspective, but it doesn’t matter because it was the last day on
earth. At Midnight, the earth would be no more. Of course the last day on earth
would be measured based on Eastern Standard Time. The President of the United States
demanded it, threatening not to be a part of the last day on earth if he didn’t
get his wish.
The council acquiesced, of course. It had been hard enough
to get the United States President to agree to it in the first place. They
couldn’t have the deal fall apart because of a few hours. The council had
realized a long time ago that the earth was in dire straits. They came up with
a number of proposals, but no solution could fit the numerous problems the
earth was dealing with. So they decided to end the earth. At midnight, the
earth would cease to exist.
Naturally, most people were less than thrilled. The media
spent their entire 24 hour cycle covering the upcoming ‘last day on earth’,
arguing that no other news was as important. Typical. They speculated how it
would happen and what people would do on their last days on earth. They interviewed
countless authorities, from scientists to priests.
People around the world were getting their sleep schedule
inline so that they would be awake at midnight to see the last day end. ‘How
would it end?’ people wondered.
“I heard that they were going to launch all the nukes. All
of them.” Said one man.
“I heard they’re going to use a tractor beam to redirect an
asteroid to crash into the earth.” Said another.
“I heard they have a deadly chemical weapon that they’re
going to release.” Said a woman
“I heard they have a spaceship to save themselves.” Said
another man, who said it in Cantonese.
No one could elaborate on who ‘they’ were.
There were more than a few riots. Thousands of people were
arrested. One yelled “It’s the last day on earth! What do you care?” as he was
being forced into the back of a police van.
To which the officer replied, “We can’t have chaos on the
last day on earth.”
Some people were less destructive. Many huddled together,
praying for their various wants and needs. Not harming anyone. Others used the
time to repent for their sins. Others still took the time to needlessly help
others. An elderly couple went to the zoo. They were interviewed by two different
news crews. A young child went to a corner store to try and buy some ice cream.
When no one was there to take his money, he contemplated taking the ice cream
without paying for a few minutes before returning it to the freezer. He took a
candy bar instead.
As midnight, on the last day on earth, drew near, people
stopped their activities and gathered into the streets. People spoke their
final words to a select few. Kisses were shared. Tears were shed.
Unfortunately, some seppuku was performed.
Some people were not in the street at all. They were busy
having sex. Others were trying to put their children to sleep, assuring them
that everything would be okay.
As irony would have it, those parents were right. Midnight
came and went and people were still standing in the streets. Those that
attempted to kiss through the last day on earth were still kissing.
As can happen with these types of decisions, one crucial
detail was not explained very well. The decision to have earth cease would not
affected the planet in any way. The decision was a cosmetic one; to simply
change the name of the planet. Planet earth had ended, and in its place was
Planet Spogg.
As the confusion dwindled, there was a reasonable about of
outrage.
“Why didn’t they tell us?” screamed a man.
“Planet Spogg? Why’d they change it to that?” a woman asked,
as she watched the news.
“Why couldn’t they have called it ‘Earth prime’?” wrote a
woman into an internet forum.
Again, no one could elaborate as to who ‘they’ were.
