Eulogy for Medium

(first written 11-29-2006)

Ever notice how things are either getting bigger or getting smaller? TV screens are getting bigger but the electronics and the sets are getting smaller. Cars are getting bigger but cell phones are getting smaller. Remember how big a Game Boy was? (P.S. fuck you if you don’t know what a Game Boy is, what it looks like, or even if you thought they came in different colors.(P.P.S Fuck you if you’re going to bitch about me using a post script in the middle of something).) They were huge. Well, huge by today’s standards. Something is too big today if it can’t fit in your mouth, let alone pockets.

But in this acceleration into the biggest and best-est and the smallest and sleekest, somewhere, we have lost the middle ground. The first two sizes of coffee at Starbucks were large and tall (of course they have to use non-American words to make it sounds smaller). What happened to medium (never mind small)? And what the fuck is tall?!?

I miss the mediums of the world. The ones that are still around are not good examples of what there was. The few mediums left to choose from are French fries, drinks, hair length, water temperature, clothes, art, and super natural.

Even the middle class is slowly disappearing. That’s an economic problem but I wanted to bring it up none-the-less.

So I say to the mediums of the past: I miss you. I truly enjoyed the experience that you brought to this world. Good bye and maybe you’re future aspirations be average!
-The Big Sleazy “keeping you from your child since 1999!”