important issues 11

(first written 1-13-2007)

Todays are hard times. The new reason is because fake anger and violence are becoming closer and closer to real anger and violence.

My typical example involves a cop walking down the street when he sees two people (Whom he does not know are friends. How could he?) facing each other shouting in one another’s face. The following comment is said by one of the friends: yeah? Well I’m going to rip off your nipple rings and then put a canvas next to your breasts so that when the blood pours out it will make modern art. Immediately, the cop would be troubled by this, as anyone would. He/she is faced with a tough decision. What’s the context? In the time it takes for the officer to walk by (which could be a long time because of the recent trend of cops weighing a minimum of 900 pounds) they have to use contextual clues to figure out if this person is a threat to their friend. We have the benefit of knowing that it is in jest, otherwise I would not have written that they were friends; I would have used something else (trust me). But the cop is not so fortunate as to have a writer on his belt or behind his badge. And the cop can’t win here either; there is no right answer for them. If they decide that it’s harmless and it does escalate to death, the cop could have prevented it and is degraded for not doing their duties. On the other hand, if they decide to take action, the friends could protest that their privacy is being invaded and make a big deal about the first amendment and etc… you see where that goes. And if the cop lets it go, and nothing happens (as is most likely in the presented circumstance) well than the cop wasted all that energy and stress worrying about nothing.

Another, more likely scenario is brought up with the genius invention of the energy drink ‘Cocaine’. Talk about making an officer’s job difficult! How are they going to decipher when someone is selling cocaine the drink from cocaine the drug. And any dealer who’s smart is going to sell both so the cops can never be right when they make their accusations. Poor poor coppers.

I guess the moral of this issue is that everything is not what it seems. Brothers fight all the time, but (hopefully) make up at the end of the day. Marriage is a tumbly road which can lead to the use of couches as beds, but love can and does prevail. Lets all take some time and asses not just our position, but another (preferably and opposing) position; look at the wheel and not just the spokes.
Or build a time machine and use that. That should work just as well.

-The Big Sleazy “keeping you from your child since 1999!”


Extra features: alternate ending for conversation between friends:
Yeah? Well I’m going to rip off your nipple rings and use the blood that pours out to make a stew! Don’t worry, I’ll add onions.
Special photo of Sam’s face after he rereads this and realize it doesn’t have a point, and the point it doesn’t have, doesn’t make any sense (interesting background though).